The Daily Edit

The Daily Edit: Amazon, CNN, Huffington Post

And we're back with another exciting round of The Daily Edit. Well, I'm back, and I'm not sure how exciting it is. Sometimes it's more like The Daily Proofread.

#1

Amazon: Vanguard Alta Pro 263AB 100 Aluminum Tripod Kit

"Quite possibly the most flexible tripod in the world Alta Pro is everything you need for out-of-this-world photography. Alta Pro tripods have unmatched versatility and stability, enabling more shooting angle than ever before."

- Elsewhere in the product description they refer to angles, plural.

"Alta Pro tripods have unmatched flexibility, stability and enabling more angle possibilities than ever before. Its innovative Multi-Angle Central Column (MACC) System allows users to move the central column from zero to 180-degree angles in variable vertical and horizontal positions making macro-photography and special wide-angle shots a breeze.The Instant Swivel Stop-n-Lock (ISSL) System securely repositions the central column in one simple movement, in just a few seconds, while maintaining the tripod’s stability. Additional tripod features include advanced camera vibration and shock control, aluminum alloy legs that adjust to 25, 50 and 80-degree angles, quick-flip leg locks, patented premium magnesium die-cast canopy, hexagon-shaped central column for extra stability, and non-slip, spiked rubber feet for changing terrains and a removable hook for hanging camera accessories. Its SBH-100 fluid-like ball head rotates 360 degrees and has smooth locking knobs, an outstanding loading capacity and fine-tuning functions."

- ...have unmatched flexibility, stability and enabling more angle possibilities than ever before... Sometimes it's better to get one sentence that works and recycle it. The product ad focuses on flexibility, stability, and shooting angles throughout, but they change the wording, often with not so great results. The parallelism is off here. I'd go with enable more rather than enabling more.

...changing terrains... I'd use terrain. Does British English use terrain and terrains rather than just terrain?

Summary: Not bad Vanguard, looks like a decent tripod. (I'm in the market for a new one.)

#2

CNN: Justice watchdog faults Comey on Clinton email probe, but says not politically motivated

Another day, another article about Clinton's emails. Okay, it's really about the DOJ's investigation into Comey's actions. Doesn't matter, make it stop. Is there anyone on the planet whose thoughts and opinions related to this issue can still be swayed or changed? I made the mistake of reading the article, so I may as well use it for a Daily Edit. Sorry blog audience of 3 (hi mom).

The article was written by Jeremy Herb and Manu Raju.

"The Justice Department's internal watchdog found that former FBI Director James Comey's actions in the Hillary Clinton email investigation deviated from the department's norms but that Comey was not motivated by political bias, according to two sources familiar with the report."

- It's a fine opening, but I'd use the entity's official name rather than "internal watchdog".

"The inspector general is releasing a sweeping report Thursday detailing a series of failures by the top federal officials in charge of the investigation ahead of the election, including how Clinton handled classified information while secretary of state."

- I'd ditch sweeping and just call it a report. What does sweeping mean here? Extensive, huge, wide-ranging, thorough? The reader isn't really sure, so I don't think it helps convey useful information.

- "federal officials" - nitpick - as opposed to what other kind of officials? I'm getting carried away. Federal officials is fine.

- More fun with titles. I think I included an article in yesterday's Daily Edit that looked at titles, specifically the use of secretary of state. That was related to California. The one in this article is the top dog (not the top watchdog). I'd definitely capitalize it here.

"Bloomberg News first reported the details of the inspector general report."

- Nicely done Herb and Raju. If you see it somewhere else first, give that source some credit.

"The stark conclusion we draw after reviewing this report is that the FBI's actions helped Donald Trump become President," said Reps. Jerry Nadler of New York and Elijah Cummings of Maryland.

- Look at that word choice. Stark. Clear, obvious, sharp. It's not just something they concluded. It was so obvious that they couldn't help but reach that conclusion. Season One of Game of Thrones ended with a stark conclusion. Sorry, couldn't resist.

Summary: Good article Herb and Raju. (That would be a great name for a restaurant.)

#3

Huffington Post: Antarctic Ice Sheet Is Melting Way Faster Than Expected, Scientists Warn

The planet’s largest ice sheet is losing more than 240 billion tons of ice every year — a threefold increase from what it was less than a decade ago.

Article by Dominique Mosbergen.

We're do for a science article. But it looks depressing. Tomorrow's Daily Edit is going to have an article about dogs.

- "...way faster than expected". I'd ditch the way. I'm biased, though. I trained on tanks at Fort Knox a long (long long) time ago. My company commander asked me if I'd started moving my platoon too early, ahead of the one who was supposed to roll out first. In my head I meant to say something like "Negative Black 6, blah blah blah". Instead I said, "Erm, uhh, no, 1st Platoon is way ahead." Black 6 was not impressed with my radio telephone procedures or precision.

- "a threefold increase from what it was less than a decade ago..." I thought that was a little confusing. It reminded me of Bilbo's birthday speech: “I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.”

"The Antarctic ice sheet is melting at a faster rate than at any previously recorded time, according to a comprehensive new study."

- Okay good, the Huffington Post is not drawing on less than comprehensive studies. Nitpick.

"The study, published Wednesday in the journal Naturehas been described as the most exhaustive analysis ever conducted on the changes to Antarctica’s ice sheet.

- I thought this would clarify the earlier use of comprehensive, but that passive voice isn't doing anyone any favors. Who described it as the most exhaustive?

"The research shows that Antarctica has lost almost 3 trillion tons of ice since 1992. Of that loss, 40 percent took place from 2012 to 2017."

- Yikes.

Summary: Good overview of the report and its findings. Pretty scary, though. The structure of this article was interesting. It looked like a collection of information reported elsewhere, such as NPR, The Atlantic, The AP, and The Washington Post. I'm not criticizing that, it's just not a format I'm all that familiar with.