Dirigible

There are times that I miss my old USG job. Those times are increasing in frequency. Holy shit, I'd be 5 years from a life-long pension and health care! Won't lie, that's a waking thought more often than I care to wake to. But today is not one of those days. Thousands of government employees with tippy top secret clearances have spent the last week dancing to the tune of, "Give me everything we've got on hot air balloons, stat. And call Jack Bauer." (I hope someone is getting a sweet TDY to New Mexico for the hot air balloon festival. Don't laugh, it's worth a shot.)

If we don't shoot this thing down, the Chinese are going to learn that we've got nuclear weapons, and a lot of them are in Montana. They might also learn about Montana weather patterns. I only know about our nukes because I was in Biden's garage shortly after playing 9 holes at Mar-a-Lago. And I've got access to Wikipedia. Somehow the Chinese realized their mistake; they foolishly jumped to satellites before discovering hot air balloons. We tried valiantly to get them to believe that space was they way to go, but they're onto us. I hope there's one brave patriot in Montana with a Red Ryder bb gun who will let those ChiComs know that we are not effing around here.

Cancel our satellite and space programs, the jig is up.