I'd really miss cheese, eggs, and butter

English muffins are like tortillas. Straight out of the bag they're pretty gnarly. You can't convince me otherwise. Today, late afternoon, I needed a snack. I also needed a little break from pears and apples (more on that in a moment). I was not in the mood to cook or prepare anything. I looked at that bag of English muffins and thought, dammit, you're going to be gross, but I'm going in. Once more unto the breach dear friends.

It was gross.

But a toasted (in my case skilleted) English muffin is wonderful, an almost-perfect pairing with a fried egg. Hmmm, fried egg breakfast sandwich. Pretty sure the science is in on this one - not contributing to my longevity. So be it. We're none of us making it out of here alive.

Butter makes everything better. I wouldn't say I'm a big volume butter user, but I have stocked it in the fridge a gazillion times more post-COVID than pre-COVID. This morning I chucked an English muffin in the skillet and started heating it. After a while I put a little butter on the tops. Fried the egg. Put a couple of thin strips of gouda on top of the English muffin. Secret Aardvark Habanero Hot Sauce. Heaven.

One complaint. The Oroweat (weird it's not Orowheat) English muffins are not awesome at soaking up that runny yolk. In their defense, they may have been taxed by the butter.

I'm a blogging purist. I'm here because I like writing. Which means I'm hoping every day that one of these brands discovers me and wants to throw a ridiculously profitable sponsorship my way. I like to think of it as a Bourdainesque venture, but with a twist. Old dude who can't cook, knows nothing about food, and thinks heating up Amy's pasta cheese bunnies is high culinary art writes about food and restaurants.

It'd be awesome and eccentric. For example, I could talk about Corvus. Instead of talking about how amazing Serene is with food, I'd talk about how it is my favorite bar even though it has the worst coasters ever made. These coasters are so bad and so ineffective that I wouldn't be surprised to see Made in Trumpville written in fine print. A staff member, who shall remain anonymous (hi Edyn!), told me once (paraphrased), "Yea, we got a smoking deal on those. The world will end before we run out of those things." Suddenly that all seems possibly short-term.

So forgive me as I cast a wide net and pursue my influencer dreams.

If you like chiles, give Los Roast a shot. I get a jar every time I do some actual grocery shopping. I've tried their green and red chile options. I'm partial to the green.

My parents sent me some Harry and David cheese(s), salmon, pears, and apples. Man I like pears, and I always forget to buy them. Harry and David is based in Medford, Oregon. I'd driven through there a couple of times before my parents first sent a package, and it was a nice little connection. I finally got around to looking them up, and it's a cool story, a slice of Pacific Northwest history.

Garbanzo beans are a perfect food.

I try to buy local as often as I can. Half the time the local brand is probably a huge conglomerate, but it's the thought that counts. I realized I hadn't been buying enough local coffee. (Cough cough, Peet's, definitely still available for a Major Dickason's Blend sponsorship. Not trying to burn any bridges here.) Picked up some Boyd's coffee, out of Portland. Awesome red bag, cool photos on their website, and quirky bag captions. I also think the coffee is good. Full disclaimer - I'm not really a connoisseur. I love truck stop coffee.

I need to sign up for affiliate marketing. Good chance Boyd's will see a massive increase in sales after I post this. Influencer.

I'm grateful to live in Capitol Hill. I was out and about a few times today and was stoked to see that 87.926% of the people walking around were wearing masks. Go Seattle!

I took a few photos. The people in the apartments at Roy and Boylston must think I'm a private detective or just a weirdo.